In Press Play we dialogue with the people behind NYXT’s video content partners. In this edition, we talked with Tony Porter, author, educator and activist working to advance social justice issues, and Chief Executive Officer of A Call To Men. Embracing and promoting a healthy, respectful manhood prevents violence against women, sexual assault and harassment, bullying and many other social ills, A CALL TO MEN educates men all over the world on healthy, respectful manhood. You can find their video content here.
How did you start working with A CALL TO MEN?
A CALL TO MEN was born out of the battered women’s movement. I founded the organization in 2001 with Ted Bunch. We wanted to raise awareness of the importance of bystander intervention and what well-meaning men who do not batter or sexually assault women have in common with those who do. We recognized that in our society, all men are socialized to devalue women, treat women as objects and as the property of men. We had a vision to deconstruct that collective socialization and reach all men with a message of healthy, respectful manhood.
How do your personal goals and passions merge with A CALL TO MEN's vision?
I'm personally invested in young men and boys, which is a big part of what we do at A CALL TO MEN. I think not allowing our boys to be their authentic selves is one of the biggest challenges we face as a society today, and it leads to some of our greatest social issues including violence, depression, mass shootings and suicide. At A CALL TO MEN, we coined the term the Man Box to illustrate how boys are socialized to be men. The Man Box identifies the limitations on what a man is supposed to be and what he believes. In the Man Box, men are supposed to be powerful and dominating, fearless and in control, strong and emotionless, and successful – in the boardroom, the bedroom and on the ball field. By better understanding how the Man Box restricts boys, we can help them evolve beyond it and be their authentic selves.
Who are some great leaders that inspire you?
I have drawn a great deal of personal inspiration from President Barack Obama, who I do not know personally but who I deeply love. I admire his authenticity, his empathy and his swagger. I love that he is surrounded by women and openly expresses tremendous appreciation, love and value for his wife, daughters and mother-in-law. Men like President Obama are blazing a new path and creating space for men of all ages to be their whole, authentic selves.
Other than A CALL TO MEN, what organizations here in NYC do you support?
We are partners with the New York Women's Foundation, led by the incredible Ana Oliveira. Ana is a trailblazer. She has said that "an investment in A CALL TO MEN is an investment in the safety and security of women and girls." She has set a shining example for what it looks like for women's and men's organizations to work together in solidarity and make a meaningful impact.
What is next for A CALL TO MEN, and how can people get involved?
We have seen tremendous progress but there is a great deal of work left to do. The most important thing men can do is to create space to have these tough conversations - to talk about issues like #MeToo and present healthy, respectful manhood as a solution. Men and boys are craving this information. Given the opportunity, they soak it up.
We have a curriculum for middle and high school boys called LIVERESPECT. It teaches boys about healthy manhood, healthy relationships, and consent. One of the stats that came out of the pilot was that only 19% of boys understood what consent means. As parents we are used to speaking to our girls about staying safe - about not taking drinks from strangers, about not walking home alone at night. But we are not having conversations with our boys about these issues. After the boys went through the curriculum, 75% of them understood what consent means. We created space to have the conversation - and it made a difference. We have to commit to that.
All men can commit to live by the principles of healthy, respectful manhood. These include things like: embracing and expressing a full range of emotion; not conforming to the pressure to always be fearless and in control; valuing a woman’s life and treating all people equally; not using language that denigrates women and girls; developing an interest in the experience of women and girls, outside of sexual conquest; and modeling a healthy, respectful manhood to other men and boys.
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